From the Healing Room
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Tags: For many years the most popular questions brought to me were about love and relationships. The last year or two the common theme has shifted to jobs and money, but I’m preparing myself for a swing back once people start to feel financially stable again. Tarot has a reputation for predicting tall dark strangers and unfaithful lovers. Many less than scrupulous readers have made small fortunes by duping hurting clients into thinking they can magically bring back a lost love without ever addressing why the relationship ended. Although Tarot can be used to predict the future, its best use is in addressing the past and present. Tarot can do many things to help improve your love life. Tarot can give a new perspective on a relationship and provide information that is either hidden or being ignored. It can address self-esteem issues and pinpoint lessons to be learned from past relationships. Often Tarot illuminates options we didn’t even know we had. But Tarot cannot and will not tell you what to do, and it most certainly won’t tell you how to change another person. Many people go to a Tarot reader searching for love without ever thinking about what that love might look like. I don’t mean the physical characteristics of an ideal lover, or even descriptions of candlelit dinners or romantic walks beside a moonlit lake. I guess what I’m saying is that love is not all soft lighting and pet names. Tarot will tell you about what it's going to be like after the wooing is done. Above all else, Tarot will tell the truth and too many people who seek out a reader are just not prepared to hear it. After investing months or years on a relationship it’s hard to admit to ourselves that we’ve made a mistake. It’s easier to believe that the problems we are having are spontaneous and temporary and that we can fix them. I’ve seen too many clients close themselves off to new relationships because they are clinging to an old one that has ended or just plain isn’t working. Few come to a Tarot reader when their love life is running smoothly. To get the most out of your reading it is important to be open to new ideas and attitudes, and that may mean recognizing when it is time to move on. That's not to say that if you're visiting a Tarot reader all hope is lost. Although we can't change our partners we can change how we react to stressful relationships. Too many people come to a Tarot reader wanting to hear good news about their current relationship and are thus blinded to the possibility that they can find good news elsewhere. If you are unhappy with your cheating lover, it is unlikely that I will tell you he is suddenly going to be faithful. Maybe it's time to find a relationship you can be happy in, and this is where Tarot does its best and most optimistic work. A reader can sometimes answer where and when with the cards, but do you really want to sit and wait for Mr. or Ms. Right to come knocking? In my experience clients benefit much more from asking how and why? Why am I continually drawn to the same kind of jerks? How do I break unhealthy dating patterns? The answers may not always be what you want to hear but they will be much more useful in the long run. I'm a big fan of the theory that Tarot doesn't have to be random - you can actually pick the cards you want to have represent your situation. Like a prayer or meditation, you can find the Tarot cards that represent what you want out of a relationship and put that intention out to the universe. Here's a hint: The Lovers is the wrong card unless you are only looking for a fling. Be specific and keep in mind the the things that were lacking in past relationships. In the Minor Arcana the six of cups or swords may represent a more compassionate partner, the ten of coins or cups may represent someone who appreciates family, swords might help you meet your intellectual match and pick wands or the Chariot if you want to avoid a lazy lover. Some Tarot readers believe that the act of laying out the cards in a reading makes the messages in those cards become reality, so why leave it to fate? Build the picture of the relationship you want, with a reader if need be, and read those cards like you would any randomly shuffled spread. Then be open to surprises. April Wagner has been reading and studying Tarot for 15 years. She has written numerous articles and deck reviews for print and the web, and founded the Chicago Tarot Club in 2005 to provide a social network for professionals and hobbyists in the area. April is available for private readings at Life Force Arts Center, including readings on Divination Day on Saturday April 3, and she will be giving a free lecture as part of LFAC's Fireside Chat Series on Monday April 5th at 7:30. Contact This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it for appointments and more information.
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